It’s an un-written rule that a sausage funga should not by any chance sleep over, request for a toothbrush, insist on using one of your towels, stay long enough to even open up the fridge and make you breakfast that was not asked for, ask for your number or take you out for lunch etc. This is just a NO-go zone. Many have written about this but you never thought it’d happen to you. If you’re feeling the dude and he is not a sausage funga but rather a potential or a friend with benefits, then that rule of sleep over do not apply to him. A sausage who has nowhere to go after clubbing and leaves miles away should get a hotel. Enough said!
Insisting on following you to your apartment ladies is not acceptable for a dude, if ya’ll are both willing to exchange bodily odour/fluid, then take him home and kick him out as soon as the deal is sealed. Hii story ya toothbrush and going through your closet for a towel is not acceptable. Thing is, chicks are not soo mean, so they’ll let the dude sleep over just coz they feel sorry for him, the dude on the other side probably expects a morning glory the morning after the night before. Men think that women are more fungable than they are but I can honestly say that a dude is more willing to be chipsed than a chick, sijui ni the fact that the chick is in control hence turning on the dude or what it is but it happens more often than dudes will want to accept. They make it seem that they are the kings of chipsing but I think us girls rock the crown! We do this shit better that guys, the kicking him out but and throwing the clothes out is soo much fun and the fact that we rarely talk about it does not necessarily mean that we do not do it, it happens on a daily basis. You see, women do not like to boast. When a dude does this shit, he’s considered a hero, isn’t he? If a chick does the same and then goes talking about it…….. Malaya/Bitch/slapper etc becomes her second name. Don’t forget it’s not only women who sleep with the CEO to climb the corporate ladder in the office, men do the same. I hate the way the world is men oriented, the way they are praised for such acts, to then,*Im a man, I’m allowed to do this kinda shit* is what is expected to come out of their rotten mouths.
I once told my mother that I would never get married, that marriages were overrated and I did not want it to lead in divorce after getting bored in the process of the *till death do us part* The evil eye she gave me I swear would have woken up Dedan Kimathi, I bet she called her pastor to pray for me. She would not understand why I’d have a partner yet not make it official, to her, that kinda life is not acceptable for women. Despite going to Beijing, women will never be equal to men, whatever we do is never good enough, never satisfactory and if we do it like a dude, we lack the respect. Society expects ladies to to cook like their mothers, even though we now drink like our fathers.
So what’s my take? Do me! If I feel like chipsing, then why not, this shit’s been happening for years, it’s not a new trend thats for sure, but it remains that a sausage funga should never shower at a chicks. The other thing is, If you call yourself a serial one nighter, atleast be good at it. There’s nothing as terrible and disappointing as a bad shug after all the hype, we all know all dudes boast that they are good in bed. I’m yet to meet one who says he is not, and if you’re not si you call this dude and he’ll train you………
A terrible shag from a sausage is just gross and I’ll say this again and again especially when its from a chips, a friends with benefits is allowed to be bad, just don’t go back there leave it at that and just be friends and never talk about it. On the other hand, a pathetic sausage in bed is an unforgivable act that even I cannot represent you in court. You’ll have to be also a pathetic lawyer to represent a pathetic in bed sausage funga, so much so if you’re one of those men who boast how good they are. To me, the women they’ve been with are either equally bad or are too kind to tell them or teach them. But really, is there anyone honest enough to tell their partner that they are terrible in bed? This is why it’s relevant to test a car before you buy it. Don’t go marrying a looser, lest the cheating starts even before the honeymoon starts.
I just wish i had the courage to to tell someone how terrible they are or how bad their breath is. Honesty is the best policy, but being mean and cruel is not ok at all. Me i’ll just never call you ever again.
ION, Who is going to Scotland for the Rugby? See you then